‘jonah’

i just had a super ‘jonah’ oncall!

it was on saturday. multiple A&E visits, too many admissions.. and less than 2 hours sleep! the first thing that i did on sunday morning right after i reached home was to have shower. with hardly open  ’black panda’s eyes’ i then stuffed myself with my mom’s nasi lemak, roti bakar with chicken curry, 2 cups of coffee, satu kotak milo, a vitagen then tell my parents “xyah kejut for lunch” and then dozed off till 3.30 pm hahahahaha… it was the best sleep i ever had.

my calls have been terrible lately. donno why. maybe the pairing (1st call, 2nd call, specialist combination) is a jinx hehehehe.. but i love it. just love it. the truth is, doctors learn on their oncall nights. You’re alone, on your own. you make your own judgement and you did what best for the patient on your own (of coz the specialist is always a phone call away), but in reality you’re the decision maker. scary? of course it is. but you become mature with those kind of scary experience

right. off to sleep. another oncall in 2 days time. hope it will be a less ‘jonah’ one. tired already huhuhu

Adjustment Disorder..

I’m diagnosing myself to have an adjustment disorder.

It’s a term Psyc loves to used when they can’t figure out what is wrong. I donno what is wrong with me anymore huhuhu..

I haven’t brag about my MO life right? I enjoy it at first, later struggle with it, then love it, then hate it, regret it, grateful of it.. owh A MIX FEELINGS! For your info, I started my MOship last Disember. Almost 1/2 year, time sure flies. Remember those things i said before on how i hate my MOs when i was a HO and pledge not be like them? Ironically, i found myself more n more like them! I do hate myself for it

That day i scolded a HO for not doing her morning round, for not updating the investigation charts, for not carried out my plans, for not sending the cultures..bla..bla.. endless. I got angry for her ‘slow reaction’ and tortoise like attitude. I keep comparing her to myself “if i can get it done why couldn’t you?”. When i share my misery with a good friend she just said these 4 words “They are NOT YOU” which I agree. I admit different people react and do things differently. And I happen to have a HO who is completely opposite of me who likes to make my life miserable! I already give up the word ‘perfect’. I now lower my expectation to ‘just get it done’. Even that simple wish cannot be fulfilled. Now i know why my MOs dulu-dulu hate their HOs. Coz now I hate them all !!

Attitude is the essence of medical practice. If you got a right attitude, you will survive. General medicine is scary. We got the highest admission rate per day, the highest ICU/HDU occupants, the highest of everything. From mistakes to complaints to negligence. You have to have an attitude that can withhold those pressures. Willing to work long hours, finish all the clerkings, discharges, prescriptions etc..etc.. (it’s never finish you know), develop soft skills, getting angry at, being shouted at (i mean by patients and the relatives), and most importantly to try to be as thorough as possible on the job to avoid mistakes that could possibly take someone’s life. General medicine covers >80% of what we learn in medical school. The only time for us, to put our knowledge into practice esp HOs are during the 4 months Housemanship rotation in medical department. I remember what my previous boss Dr. Chua said, “as a doctor your knowledge and medical management must be good. Because no matter how high you go, even if you become a surgeon, oncologist, neurologist etc.. at the end you’re a doctor and as a doctor you are expected to know how to manage a simple case like hypertension and diabetes”. I am so frustrated when those young doctors taking the jobs for granted. I’d been there. I was a HO before. Don’t tell me that the workloads are too much to bear. Get out of my ward if you thought of saying that! My apologies to those who have broken down emotionally, mentally, spiritually and need a few weeks off, see a shrink, on anxiolytics, anti depressants…… oh how medicine must be cruel to you guys. But when you see ‘it’ from where i stand.. from my small eyes … general medicine is fun, challenging and 100% rewarding if you have the right attitude. I mean it. I am here am I?

I am trying my best to be a good medical officer. Giving advice and guidance to the young ones. But if they keep irritate me with their blank ‘i donno what to do’ stares, annoying giggles after serious warning from specialists, mistakes here and there…..

the answer is : Get out of my ward. As simple as that. HO mistakes = MO responsibilty.

“thrown to the district”

Here I am serving the country.

For the next 2 months (maybe) i’ll be here in Segamat Hospital. Orthopaedic posting in HPSF is divided into two. For those lucky ones we’ll be “thrown” to Hospital Segamat to complete half of our posting. Others will stays in HPSF for the whole 4 months. There is no particular reason for being sent to district hospital. And guess what, this time, I’m the lucky one!

I’ve been here for almost 30 hours now. When you got nothing to do and half dead, the hands of the clock move too slow in your eyes. *sigh*.. donno what shall i do for the next 60 days!!! So my 1st impression of this hospital?? —> BEST . How about the town itself ? —-> SO-SO. Hostel ? –> yucks i HATE it!!. After 2 years being pampered at home, going back to hostel life is not something  that i like to do ok..

Anyway, to my surprise, the hospital layout ( i mean the ward) really looks like those in the UK. It looks exactly the same like one of the district hospital i’d been attached to during my student years. It feels like home hehehehehe… The specialist and MO are super duper nice and ‘chill’.. the nurses ARE GREAT!!! they set the branula, they take the blood, they even fill in the form!!! “doctor, you just sign here and here and here…” How cool is that??? I thought i will only enjoying this luxury when i become a MO later. Who knows you are treated like a ‘real’ doctor here! hehehehe, now i love those ladies in white uniform

Now I am looking forward to working in this hospital. It’s hard to say what will happen in the future (finger cross nothing will change while i’m here ;D).  In the mean time, i need to find something to fill the time. And writing my blog again is definitely one of it. It’s sad to see that i’ve been neglecting this blog for the last 1 year.. Now I’m back. Back for good. Hail MangoAndJojoba cause you are the saviour of my soul right now!